For a thousand years, Excalibur has been the sword of heroes. Unfortunately, its new owner isn't one.
Henry of Sanbruc, medieval smartass, makes a pretty good living selling "magic" swords to gullible knights. When he's forced to steal the real thing from the Chapel Perilous, his troubles are only beginning. For Excalibur is not just the sword of heroes...it’s also the sword that won’t SHUT UP. It communicates with its owner, it knows what kind of owner it deserves, and Henry doesn't even come close.
To keep Excalibur and the world safe from the appalling Geoffrey Plantagenet, Henry will have to masquerade as a knight, crash a royal wedding, rescue a princess, break a siege, penetrate the secrets of the Perilous Brotherhood, and find Excalibur’s rightful bearer, all while trying to reach an accommodation with a snotty, aristocratic hunk of steel that mocks him, takes over his body, and keeps trying to turn him into the one thing he hates most...a hero.
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After studying history at Columbia, fantasy at the USC School of Cinema-Television, and juvenile behavior in film industry, Ted Mendelssohn (or the man who calls himself Ted Mendelssohn) was ideally suited to write The Wrong Sword. He is a resident of New York and not cynical at all.